ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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