So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
