Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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