i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize