Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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