I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Terrible idea I love it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
