He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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