I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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