So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
