she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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