...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
