what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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