its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
