I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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