I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My pussy is not your playground.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
