I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Me too!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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