is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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