when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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