dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
