No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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