I just pynch a tree in the face
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize