Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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