You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
