I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
