All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
