everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
