Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
