gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
