She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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