return my video game
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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