my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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