I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
