And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
