How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
