I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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