One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
