Can Purell be used as lube?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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