literally had 100 drinks last night.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
