did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
