Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
