i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
