Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
