they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize