She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
