dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
