my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
