i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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