Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
