Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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