Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
