Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Mom said you looked used
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
