I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i dont even know how to be here
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize