I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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