she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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