I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize