What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
