i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
