it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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