a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
