Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
