He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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