My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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