it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
