I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
