I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
