Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
