A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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