i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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