he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
