You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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