My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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