I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
