and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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