I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
