We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
