yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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