I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
