my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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