As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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